Elusive when juggling career and family, but it doesn’t have to be. This single change helps.

On VProud there is an oh-so-relatable video and conversation called, “Marriage? Career? Kids? Take ’em all: Is it possible to manage all three successfully?” We affectionately refer to this balance in life video as Superwoman 2.0 because the search for balance sometimes feels like a Superwoman sort of effort!

Mother and writer Heather Davis reflects on this topic as someone who has been there, done that and has come out on the other side sighing a big sigh of relief to say that she — you, we — absolutely do not have to do it all. We love this perspective on searching for balance and think that balance in life does, indeed, ebb and flow.

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What we need to do to stay sane, is learn how to shift our perspective with it. Take a look at our beloved Superwoman 2.0 video and Heather’s breath-of-fresh-air essay below. Then let’s all repeat after Heather together: The answer to How do you do it all? Is: I don’t. Don’t you feel better already? We do, too.

—The VProud Team

Doing It All … Or Not

By Heather Davis for VProud

“How do you do it all?” I get asked this a lot. I teach full-time. I am the author of seven books. I have two girls who are really, really, really, really active. I am married. And my mom lives with us following her stroke.

How do I do it all?

Easy: I don’t.

I missed my daughter’s first grand-slam home run last spring. Totally missed it. And for the life of me, I cannot remember where I was.

I waited outside of a house to pick up my daughter from her small group for an hour. It was the wrong house. And the wrong night.

More nights than not, we drive through for dinner and meet up just in time for bed.

Right now, I’m writing this on a corner of the dining room table because there’s no place else to sit in the house, thanks to laundry.

How do I do it all? Pfffttt … I don’t.

But, here’s what else I don’t do.

I don’t poke my nose into my phone when I’m chowing down on chicken nuggets in the parking lot before dropping my daughter off at the high school.

I don’t roll my eyes when my mom calls for me to help her with her nighttime socks even though I Just.Sat. Down. for the first time since getting home from school.

I don’t change from yoga pants and a paint-stained tee when my hubby suggests we go for a drive to have some alone time.

And, I don’t beat myself up when I go to bed at night knowing full-well that I’m going to wear a pair of pants for the second time that week without washing them.

How do I do it all? I don’t.

And I’m perfectly fine with that.

Perfectly fine.